Lessons that you only learn by doing.
Here are some of mine. (Idea blatantly stolen from TreyMorgan.net)
- Never try to unplug a record player with your teeth.
- Never try to pull two broken ends of an electric fence together without checking to see if the charger is disconnected. (I believe this is how they discovered the transporter beam in Star Trek).
- Never try to capture a cow by hiding in the hay loft, and placing a loop on the ground for the cow to step in. (Could also be titled little boys cannot fly...)
- Never try to stand in the upstairs window of your parents roller skating rink and moon people.
- Never try to jump your bicycle of off the edge of the pool into the water.
- No matter how much time you think you have before the bus arrives, do not "go behind the tree."
- Never tell your mother, "Well bless your little heart," in the same sarcastic tone she uses with you when you are whining about something.
- Never just fall of the diving board when trying a back flip. (unless you want to hit your head under the board)
- Never reach out the back window of the school bus and sticl your gum on the back window.
- Never shoot a dead armadillo with a shotgun downwind.