Am I Okay With That??
We spoke today about the things that are a hot topic in the nation at the moment, "right to marry," pro-life vs. pro-choice, among many others. My friend said something that took the air out of me...he said,"how can I take a stand on those things, if I am not willing to examine where I am personally numb to sin."
My gut reaction is to say, "bro, what are you doing? these people are dying in their sinfulness and they want everybody to go with them." or "Why don't you shut your big yapper!"
Yet, as I think about the statement I have to ask myself where it is I have stopped on my walk towards being a disciple of Jesus... I have to examine the things that I have allowed to be so common in my life that I am no longer outraged or even the slightest bit alarmed. Things like the television shows I watch, the things I allow my eye to linger on, the thoughts about people, the condition of my physical health, etc.
My brother brought up something that he had recently eliminated from his life because of the conflict the question had caused in his heart. He loves MMA fighting, if it was on tv he recorded it, if not he checked it out on the web. This was something that he enjoyed. Matter of fact, when the fights were on, we would text back and forth about what was going on (our way of sharing the experience). We spent time together and watched many of the fights together. My friend was convicted to put aside this form of entertainment, he was watching the female matches on tv and was "uncomfortable," which led him to ask why he accepted it if it was 2 men instead.
He did not share this with anyone except his bride, and does not force his conviction on anyone else. Yet he has taken a stand for where the line is in his own life, and where he can begin to add some sensitivity to the numbness he has allowed.
I was blown away!!!!!!
I have really been wrestling a lot recently with where I have placed the line of sin. I have placed the line at the actual physical act. I think that the Holy Spirit has been convicting me recently that it is before that. It is at the posture of the heart. I have asked myself, "when did Adam & Eve sin?" "When did the prodigal sin, what about David, Saul, Judas???" The answer that I see is when they decided in their hearts that they were going to do what they did. Jesus teaches all through the Sermon on the Mount about the "hearts desire." (lust = adultery; hate = murder...)
The new X-Box commercials show a person looking at the tv, the camera then pans around to the back of the persons head and it is filled with the exact thing that is on the television. Sometimes that is the way the heart is in this world. The more I fill my life with things of the world, the less room there is for Jesus.
I do not want to become comfortably numb any longer. I want to become sensitive to the Holy Spirit's pain when my heart sets an altar to sin. I want to love the LORD God with ALL of my heart, soul, mind and strength...