I'm awake and oriented
Your response: Well duh, you are typing a blog.
I mean that I woke up this morning, actually last night. I had been walking around half-hearted in my attitude and reactions. I was reacting like myself to a lot of things going on around me. Last night (at bed time)God began to speak to me. I wanted to go to sleep, but God said that it was time to wake; that I had slept long enough. He told me that I have been living and acting out of the first eternal purpose of Jesus (that all men be saved). Yet I has stopped there, I was not moving into the second eternal purpose (that all come to be like Jesus). Van Morrison wrote and sang "clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am stuck in the middle with you." When I get stuck in the middle, I forget that there is more available to me. I am left wanting more...I want more of Jesus, I want more of Him and less of me, I want more grace to give to others, i want more kindness to pass around, I want more love to share, i want more patience, i want more peace, i want more struggles to become more complete, i want more understanding, i want more humility, i want more of Jesus and less of me.
I get stuck at times thinking that I am the one carrying the heavy end of this burden. I sometimes feel as if I am being unfairly put upon, that I do not have all that it takes to put up with these...so-called Christians. I feel like I have to get by on my personality and the things that I have learned working with people of the world. I forget that I am called to more. I forget that I do not have to live out of my personality, there is more; much, much more. There is Jesus.
I woke up to that last night. I woke up that before I can worry about being a better person, that I have to die to myself. That before I can stand up and preach, I have to seek God and His wisdom, that before I do anything, I MUST become like Jesus.
There are scriptural words of encouragement that I have read today:
I woke up today, to the life that Christ has called me to. Not a life that I have to life under my own power.
A life that comes from Him, as a gift. A life that flows from Him, and through Him into me. His life.
For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith--that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.