Faith or Want???
Recently a dear brother in Christ of mine called me and asked if I would do a lesson on fear. I told him I would, and have begun to do a series of Sermons called Fear Factor (I know real original). As I started last week with an image of life in the Garden from Genesis 3, I realized that God is still in the process of calling out to us; "Where are you?" All the while KNOWING full well where we are and with what we are making ourselves content. The idea, is that we are all so wrapped up in hiding our own sin from everybody (including God) that we are too busy knitting together our coverings of leaves to answer His question.
God has been asking this question of each and every one of us over the course of human history.
Today I read a friends blog "Wild Followship" and was immediatly pierced. The writer shared the fact that after reading that it would be easier for a camel to pass throught the eye of a needle than it would be for a rich man to enter heaven stirred her to pray that she would never be rich. Then she lamented of the "wantness" that exposed itself in her life.
I cannot begin to tell you how ashamed this post made me. Here is this woman lamenting the fact that she desires earthly things, and sometimes allows them to interfere with her desire for God, and here I sit wondering if any cars I like are available on Craigslist. I live life with my heart on a swivel; desiring first one thing and then another. I honestly cannot go to Wal-mart without checking to see if the price of the TV I want has gone down yet. (You can bet it is not the 13 inch).
This week, the Fear that I want to speak about is the fear that the Rich Young Ruler had. The fear that God demands everything, that Christ says that I have to renounce ownership of worldly desires to be worthy of following Him.
I have to confess to all that my heart sometimes wants to be the rich man that defies the odds laid out by Jesus so long ago. I want to prove that this is one rich man that can do God's work. Yet I see people like Heath Ledger and the tragic way his life ended, or I see the deep darkness that Britney Spears life has become, and I know that the reason that I am here today is because God answered my prayer for fame and stardom with NO. I know that the reason for that is because I would be a tragic story that ended in heartbreak and lament.
I know that God has a plan for me that involves riches that I cannot even begin to imagine as long as my eye is on the Mazda Miata, or the Vizio 37" HDTV. The only way I can understand the gift that I am given each day is to set aside the eyes of lust for the things of this world, to deny the fleshly nature that rages and brags, to crucify my self daily with the cross set before me and DESIRE JESUS!
Father, allow me this day to be your servant. To answer freely when you ask Where with the words so many of the faithful have already spoken: "here am i, send me."
Today I long to be called child, I long to bask in the Love you have so freely offered at such a dear cost, and ask that you allow me to be humbled for Your glory.